Wonderland Insanity's Judai
by serina-phantom
Summary: SEQUEL TO THE WONDERLAND OF JUDAI YUKI. Full summary inside. Little Judai's all grown up and taking Wonderland by the throat. The Judai we all love has vanished. Judai must return to Wonderland and defeat the Queen of Hearts once and for all. JJ
1. Prologue

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: All right, everyone, and welcome to the trailer for you story, "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: For anyone who can't guess it, this story is a sequel to our story, "_The Wonderland of Judai Yuki_", and unlike the first one, this is not a very happy story, but it might get there in the end!

Me: This story was inspired by and is based on the video game "_American McGee's Alice_"!

Lucy: We hope that you all enjoy the trailer, and we plan on updating this as soon as we complete "_The Wonderland of Judai Yuki_", which will be very soon, we promise, because we want to start this fic as soon as possible! Please enjoy!

_**Prologue**_

[_The scene fades in from the darkness, the soft, lullaby-like music from a pocket watch playing in the background. The scene shows toys of all kinds; dice, stuffed animals, building blocks, etc.; line along the floor. There are a few jacks on the floor surrounding a single book. The book is surrounded by a set of blocks that read "MOM", "DAD", "LEANDER", and finally, "DEAD_".]

**Doctor (O.S.)**: What's wrong, Judai?

**Judai Yuki (O.S.)**: My parents... are gone.

[_The scene shifts to where we now see what the book is. It's "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll, and it is open to a page that shows everyone in Wonderland_.]

**Doctor (O.S.)**: What else is wrong, Judai?

[_The scene goes to a mirror, where we now see Judai staring back at himself. We only see half of his face however, and one of his amber-brown eyes. He is much older now- about 21 years old- and he looks very lost and tired and slightly scared_.]

**Judai Yuki (O.S.)**: Something's... broken.

[_An image of a white rabbit stuffed animal, stitched in countless places, flashes in front of the reflection of Judai's eye in the mirror_.]

**Doctor (O.S.)**: What's broken, Judai?

[_Judai takes a long pause and stares at the reflection of his eye in the mirror, and we hear his heart rate increase as his eye widens, his pupil becoming much smaller than before_.]

**Judai Yuki (O.S.)**: _I_ am!

[_The mirror cracks, and the reflection of Judai's eye- along with the image of the stuffed animal- shatters into a few pieces, and the reflections multiply because of the shattered glass_.]

**Narrator**: Beyond the broken Looking Glass...

[_The image shows the room where Judai was just in- all of the blocks and the book- crumbling away into the never-ending darkness. The book flips to a page where we see the Queen of Hearts, and then it crumbles away as well_.]

**Narrator**: Fairytales become nightmares...

[_The image shows the items that Judai has come to know- the bottle of potion that reads DRINK ME, the cake that reads EAT ME, the playing cards that make up the Queen of Heart's guard, and a few dice and some chess pieces- falling towards the ground_.]

**Narrator**: Imagination transforms into madness...

[_Among the falling items is a knife. The knife is long and made of silver, with strange rune-like designs on the blade, the handle made out of black obsidian. There is a bit of dried blood on the blade. Judai's hand reaches out and catched the blade- Johan's knife- and he brings it back to himself and looks at it with a loving expression_.]

**Narrator**: Friends become foes...

[_We see Judai sitting at a table across from the Mad Hatter, Jim. Jim looks strange, viscious, and slightly more wild than before. Judai hesitantly holds up his cup of tea, and Jim does the same, his eyes narrowed. Judai holds Johan's knife under the table, and Jim holds a lever that will drop Judai down through a hole under his chair_.]

**Judai Yuki (O.S.)**: Where is Johan?

**Jim/The Mad Hatter (O.S.)**: Oh... you don't wanna know what has become of your precious Johan.

[_The scene shifts to where Jim yanks the lever and Judai is dropped down a huge hole with a loud scream. Jim waves down the hole and then he vanishes in a puff of crimson smoke_.]

**Narrator**: And time...

[_A pocket watch, the same one that has been playing the soft lullaby- Judai's lullaby- starts falling through the air, sailing towards the ground at a slow, almost invisible rate_.]

**Narrator**: ...is running out.

[_The pocket watch falls and shatters to the ground. Judai stares at it for a moment, and his reflection is shown in the shattered glass of the watch that is now laying by the toes of his black combat boots_.]

**Narrator**: Little Judai grew up...

[_We see a full image of Judai clutching Johan's bloodied knife in his hand. Judai is now twenty-one years old, though he still looks fairly similar, the same brown hair with the lighter shade on top, the front longer than the back. His eyes are more narrow now, more mature, and they are the eyes of one who has witnessed death and destruction and years of agony. He is dressed in what looks like a waiter's uniform- a black vest with buttons, black pants, a crimson button-up shirt underneath and thick black boots_.]

**Narrator**: And so did Wonderland.

[_We see an image of long, jagged claw marks being dragged by an invisible force across the floor. When we see who is causing them, we now see Ruby, the Cheshire Cat, lurched over in an attacking position, the same wicked grin on her face. She is malnourished and bony now, but she still sports her giant Cheshire Cat smile_.]

**Ruby Carbuncle/Cheshire Cat (O.S.)**: Still as curious as ever, Judai?

[_The scene switches to where we see one of the Cards- a servant and guard to the Queen of Hearts- standing near Judai, holding up one of his weapons, a giant ax, above Judai's head_.]

**Queen of Hearts (O.S.)**: Off with your head!

[_As the Queen's voice echoes in the background, the Card swings the ax down and misses Judai. Judai stabs at the ax with his knife and then cuts at the Card. The Card gives a yell of pain and collapses to the ground after being cut in half, revealing Judai to be standing in a slightly crouching position, holding the knife tightly in his hand_.]

**Judai Yuki (O.S.)**: But I don't want to go among mad people.

[_As Judai's voice echoes in the background, Judai gives a wicked smirk, and then the image is replaced by a massive sign made out of broken glass that reads the words "Wonderland Insanity's Judai" in large letters_.]

**Ruby Carbuncle/Cheshire Cat (O.S.)**: [_as a whisper_] Ohh, I am afraid you can't help that. We're all mad here. Especially you. You're insanity at its best. You are our very best. You're Wonderland's insanity. Wonderland Insanity's Judai...

[_The scene fades out and one of the letters curves and changes into a wide smirk. The smirk looks at the screen, two crimson eyes appear, and then it vanishes as quickly as it came_.]

* * *

Me: Okay! There was the trailer/prologue for the story!

Lucy: In case no one had figured it out, O.S. means "off-stage". This means that you can hear the voices, but no one is speaking them on the screen at the current moment.

Me: This trailer, obviously, was based off the trailer for the video game. So, if you want to see what it would look like, or somewhat look like, then I suggest that you go to youtube and look up the trailer for the video game! It's an amazing game! American McGee is a genius!

Lucy: Please review and we shall update as soon as we can! As soon as "_The Wonderland of Judai Yuki_" is finished!


	2. Stage 1 Point 1: Asylum

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter one of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: Based on the summary and the trailer before all of this, we can deduce that Judai has been turned insane because his parents were killed and we shall see why in this chapter!

Me: But how does Wonderland tie into all of this?

Lucy: Read on if you wish to find out exactly what is going to happen, guys!

_**Stage One Point One: Asylum**_

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

My life was supposed to be better than this. My father... father is- _was_- a great and respected man. If I had the mind to, I would have been able to take over his company at the time of his death and keep his dream alive. I would have been able to travel across the world and spread his idea to countless nations.

It wasn't supposed to happen!

No! It wasn't!

It was all a mistake. This- this couldn't have happened to me. M-Maybe I'm just dreaming again. Maybe all this time, it's just been one nightmare after another- one long, continuous nightmare that just won't end! Please! Please, someone! Wake me up! Wake me up! I can't take this much longer, I can't! Someone! Anyone!

It wasn't supposed to end like this. I-I was sleeping. I was dreaming. I was enjoying my time in my dreams, in the world where I had emerged from not long ago- that very same night, as a matter of fact. I was having tea at the Mad Hatter's table, sitting beside the man that I loved, Johan Andersen, who had been my Guide through Wonderland.

My room was as dark as ever- my mind filled with warm thoughts.

My kitten Kuriboh- he's beautiful, you know, with his bright brown fur and golden eyes- was curled up on the end of my bed. On the nightstand rested a book that I had enjoyed reading. It was the book that I had found after my adventures in Wonderland. It was the book by Lewis Carroll. I was happy to find that it was pretty accurate on the real Wonderland.

I slept with my stuffed animal, a stuffed white rabbit, under my arm.

In my dreams, I could hear the laughter of my friends from Wonderland. Jim, the Mad Hatter, was laughing as he poored another cup of tea for me and pushed it towards me.

"_I've got a riddle!_" he shouted. "_Why is a raven like a writing desk?_"

I was asleep at the time, and hadn't noticed anything wrong. Everything seemed as normal as could be to me, and like every other night, I was a happy child, as it should have been.

Then... everything went wrong.

Kuriboh sat up on the end of my bed, abruptly. He purred loudly and rushed to me and nudged my sleeping form. I groaned and waved a hand at him to shoo him away. I didn't want to be bothered from my dreams at the moment. I was enjoying my time, my memories, in Wonderland with my friends and the one I cared about.

In my dreams, Jim came a loud shriek.

"_Blood, blood! Fire, fire!_" he screamed, pointing to the forests of Wonderland. "_You must save Judai!_"

At the time, I hadn't known who Jim had been talking to. I noticed how horrified Johan looked in my dream, and Fubuki and Kenzan started to panic and run around. A fire seemed to rage from the ground and consume my dream, turning it into a wicked nightmare. I screamed and looked for Johan, but I couldn't find him, or anyone anymore.

"_Wake up, Judai! Wake up!_" Shou, the White Rabbit, called from the flames.

I awoke with a start at that time, and the smell of smoke reached my nose. I jumped to my feet, wrapping my arms around my stuffed animal and around Kuriboh, who purred and cuddled up against me.

I rushed to the hallway to warn my parents and Leander, my elder brother.

"Mom!" I screamed. "Dad?"

Loud screams and splatters and crackles from the fire came from their bedroom. A fire had been started inside their room, and it was slowly comsuming the place as loud stabs came, followed by their wicked screams of agony and pain. I screamed for my parents and pounded on their door- hot to the touch.

"Run, Judai!" my father's agonized voice shouted.

I was certain what had hit me, but I was suddenly thrown from the window far to the right of my parents' room. I screeched and saw a flash of red, the copper hair of my elder brother, as I was thrown from the now flaming window. Leander turned and screamed as the flames swallowed him whole, ceasing his existence in a split second.

My body was surrounded by virgin white snow. My body trembled under the cold ice, my eyes locked on the window.

The screams echoed through my head.

I opened my mouth to scream out to my dying parents, to my dying brother...

* * *

And then I found myself back in the insane asylum I had been in for over ten years.

My eyes had yet to adjust to the bright whiteness of my bedroom. It was the same room I had been in since I was eleven; the same room I had done so many horrible things within. Countless years inside this whiteness, and you would never get use to it. I was still blinded each and every time my eyes opened, and it was like being trapped in Hell.

I rolled over and tried to sleep, shifting the bandages on my scarred wrist.

* * *

Hours passed. I sat up in bed, fiddling with the bandages aroud my wrist again. They were fairly fresh; the nurses kept changing them every few hours, saying that they needed to keep them fresh as to avoid infection. Heh. I knew the real reason. They wanted to check up on me to make if I was trying to kill myself again or not.

Really, I didn't want to do it.

I was just staring at the switchblade that use to belong to my father, and then the next thing I knew, my wrist was bleeding and there were a mess of nurses around me.

Huh.

Maybe I am suicidal.

I rolled over and tried to go asleep again.

* * *

Kuriboh's kept whining for the past three hours. I couldn't get much sleep.

* * *

When I awoke the the third time that evening, it was only ten thirty. I tried to go back to sleep, but my wrist was hurting. I checked for blood, but the bandages were wound so tight and so thick that no blood could leak through if it tried.

I rolled over with Kuriboh at the foot of my bed, clutched my stuffed white rabbit, and closed my eyes.

Sleep was all I could do.

* * *

The voices loomed around me.

"He never sleeps without that stuffed rabbit, does he?"

"Oh, let him sleep, Sarah," said the second female voice with false concern. "The poor thing's never slept very well since he was brought in ten years ago, I hear."

The first voice grunted. "Maybe he's finally having good dreams."

I wanted to tell them to be quiet, that I was still awake and that I still had nightmares. Horrid nightmares where my friends were burning in a Hell of my own design, a Hell where I felt responsible for everything that was happening to them. I wanted to tell someone this, anyone. But none of them were going to listen to me. Johan was the only one who would think I wasn't insane, but Johan wasn't here anymore. I wondered often, in my dreams and in my awakenings, if I would ever see Johan again. I had last seen him at the Gates of Wonderland over ten years ago, and those ten years seems so far behind me now. My years just seemed to run together since I was brought to this eternal Hell of white and cruelty.

The nurses must've left; I couldn't hear them anymore.

Finally free of their annoying voices, I rolled onto my side, facing the window.

Soft moonlight peeked through, and I was reminded of a time when things were much different. I remembered a time when I would look at the moon and the stars and be thankful that I lived where I did.

Now, the moon was a reminder of the loss I'd suffered.

My eyes found a way to close on their own. I'd become accustomed to the stinging of tears in my eyes; the feeling was not unfamiliar. I was able to sleep with the sensation of tears now, better than I had been a long time ago.

Something shifted into my room, but I tried to ignore it. _Just one of the nurses_, I told myself.

The thud by my pillow told me that wasn't the case.

My eyes fluttered open, and I turned to glare at whoever had come to me. I reached to grab a switchblade that I kept by the corner of my bed, in case any of the nurses came to harass me again. I had gotten into a lot of trouble for stabbing a bitch nurse with it once, but hey, that didn't stop me from bringing another blade in.

Whoever was in my room stared at me in shock, raising his tiny white paws to tell me he wasn't a threat.

Wait... white paws?

I drew the knife back, my mind faltering. The white rabbit shuffled forward, adjusting his waistcoat and fixing the small glasses on the bridge of his human-like nose. He nodded to me and shifted his rabbit ears, white and torn, to point up high in the air. His skin was cut and worn, as if he had been through Hell and back. But that didn't matter. He was here. Despite everything I had thought, here he was, back again like he had been the first night I saw him.

But what came out of my mouth wasn't joy; it was rage. "Where have you been?" I whispered softly, shaking my head. "I left carrots out every night, and you never came. How dare you. How dare you! Damn you...! Where have you been?"

Shou frowned and took a step toward me. "I'm here now, Judai."

A bitter laugh came from my throat. "Oh?" I snapped, my eyes wild with hysteric tears. "And what good does that do me now? Where were you a year ago? Two years ago? Where were you when I was good, when I was sane?" My eyes watered again, and I glared through them. "How dare you... How dare you come to me now, when I'm this... _thing_!" I pitched over and sobbed into my hands, letting the emotion, the pent-up sorrow of over ten years finally escaping.

With my tears, my rage escaped with it.

Shou shuffled uneasily toward me, as if expecting me to hit him. When I didn't, he wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed into his shoulder and I even dried a few of my grimy tears in his teal hair.

"It's okay, Judai," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

I sniffled and drew away from Shou, wiping the remainder of my tears on the handkerchief he handed me. "Thanks," I blubbered. Once I was done crying my eyes out, I blushed faintly. I had been so good at keeping my emotions bottled up these past ten years. It seemed almost ironic that a single glance at someone from the world of my childhood could break my brick walls as if they were made of wet paper towels.

Shou placed a hand on mine. "We need you, Judai."

"Need me?" I asked. Shou nodded his head. "Okay, but can't it wait a moment. I wanna know about Wonderland. How is everyone?"

Shou surprised me by frowning. "You... don't really wanna know," he murmured. At my frown, Shou sighed and continued. "After you left, things were just fine. The Queen of Hearts stepped down, and it all seemed fine. But then... something went wrong. The Queen rose again as a wicked and evil tyrant, turning Wonderland into ruins, killing and slaying all in her path, corrupting those who refused to be slain. It's been Hell on Earth for over ten years, Judai, and we need your help."

My heart was thundering. _Ten years?_

Another fear snapped into my mind. "Johan," I whispered. I reached out and snatched up Shou's shoulders, drawing him close. "Where's Johan? Oh dear God, please tell me nothing happened to-"

Shou's grave expression confirmed my fears.

"She's got him, Judai," he whispered.

I shook my head slowly, not wanting to believe any of this. "N-no..."

Shou pulled out his gold pocket watch, filthy and ragged with age and wear. "She took him first, Judai. No one sees her anymore, no one even knows what she looks like, what with what the Corruption does to them, and to me." He motioned to his ragged form, rotting and evil. He looked at me with sad, gray eyes. "Please, Judai, for the sake of your friends, come back to us. We need you to stop the Queen. Johan needs you, before the Queen of Hearts decides to..."

I didn't need him to explain. I knew what the Queen would do to Johan. The command echoed through my mind, "_Off with his head_!"

"No!" I whispered harshly, my amber eyes flashing. "I won't let Johan get killed."

My hand clamped around the knife I kept under my pillow. I drew it out and snapped it open. Standing, I replaced my white shirt with a longsleeve white shirt, a black waiter's vest that use to be my brother's, a pair of matching black pants, and my father's heavy black combat boots. I pocketed the switchblade and tied the ribbons in the back of the vest to keep it on. I brushed my hair with my hands, making sure that I didn't look like I was a complete slob, that ten years in an insane asylum hadn't deprived me of that.

Shou nodded his head to the window. "Come," he said.

I nodded and turned to look at my sweet little brown kitten. "Kuriboh," I whispered softly, kissing his soft forehead. "I'll be back." His golden eyes told me that he understood. He yawned and laid back on my bed.

"Judai," Shou called softly. "Come."

I had no choice but to follow.

* * *

As we walked, I kept thinking of Johan.

How long had it been since I'd last hugged him? Since I'd last kissed him? Ten. Ten long years without contact from Johan. The weight and sudden realization of it was enough to drive me mad. My chest felt like it weighed a ton. It seemed so long ago, and it was. But when I was in the asylum, I was always dreaming about Johan. My memory, the images I kept of his face, of his features, was starting to fade. I could only remember that his hair was blue and his eyes were the loveliest shade of emerald, except when he was angry. Then they turned poison green.

_Ten years_, I thought again. How much had Johan changed?

I had definitely changed. I was taller than I had been, now 5'0" tall, and my hair was a bit longer. It was still the same color, and my eyes had toned down on the chocolate brown and had taken on a more orangey chocolate tint. My features were definitely sharper, more defined, and I was even more lovely than I had been as a child, or so I'd been told.

What could Johan be like? Had he changed at all? Was he taller than me still? Was his hair longer? His eyes different?

Fear suddenly circled me. Did Johan even know about my being in the insane asylum? Did he know that I was insane? Would he care? Would he look at me like I was a monster, the way everyone in the asylum looked at me?

"Judai?" Shou's voice snapped me out of it. "We're here."

I glanced up and saw that we were back in the backyard of my old home, covered with yellow caution tape. Shou stood before what I recognized as the rabbit hole I had fallen into when I chased him ten years ago. Back when I was eleven and curious. But now I was twenty-one, and I knew that now, instead of the fairytale land I had once loved and known, according to Shou, it was a war zone with nothing but death and ruin and all manner of corruption.

"Has your mark vanished?" Shou asked me.

I looked at my arm and shoved back my white sleeve. As it always was, my Oyster mark was gone for good, not even leaving a green patch. It had been like this for over ten years. "Yeah."

"Good," Shou said with a sigh. "If it hadn't been, then that would have meant you were still on the verge of becoming a Wonderlandian and that your world hadn't changed you back."

I blinked and looked at him. "And how would that have been bad?"

"Not really bad," Shou said. "It just would've meant that you'd be susceptible to the Queen's powers of corruption."

I frowned. "Oh."

"Your mark gives you immunity to the Queen's control," Shou explained. "But if it was your old one, then it would have weakened with time and you would have become more like a man from Wonderland, understand? Therefore, the marking would slowly fade and you'd be corrupted by the Queen. But, since yours vanished when you came into our world, it means you will get a new re-done mark, and you will be even more immune to the Queen."

"Okay," I nodded.

Shou waved his hand to the rabbit hole, dark and unforgiving. "After you."

I walked to the black hole and looked down. Beyond it was a world under corruption, a world that might be the making of my destruction. But, on the other side was also...

_Johan._

I closed my eyes, forgetting everything else, even the sorrow and the fear I had felt before, and I plunged through the darkness and into the world of corruption I had loved ten years ago, before all this happened.

* * *

Me: All right! Chapter one has begun, and now, Judai's back to Wonderland to defeat the Queen of Hearts once again, who is now a tryant who has claimed Wonderland as a dictator and who has Johan captive!

Lucy: Will Judai be able to rescue him, or will he be unable to even rescue himself?

Me: All this and more when we return!

Lucy: Please review and we shall update as soon as we can!


	3. Stage 1 Point 2: The Cards

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter two of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: Poor Judai has just learned that Johan had been taken by the Queen of Hearts and that Wonderland is in trouble!

Me: If anyone hasn't figured it out just yet, which I know all of you have, the story is in Judai's POV. We wanted to try something new with our story, so we decided to do a first-person narrative. Lol, our teacher would be so proud!

Lucy: Please enjoy the chapter, as we discover what poor Judai will do now!

_**Stage One Point Two: The Cards**_

My screams echoed as I stumbled head over heels down the enormous black hole. My hands reached out, searching for something to stop my fall, and then I realized that the walls around me were lined with odd things, as they had been before... things you would never expect to find in a rabbit hole. Hanging on the dirt walls were crooked paintings, ancient maps, cracked mirrors (in which I saw my horrid appearance and shivered. Lord, what had I become? The insanity was plain as the sky in my eyes.), demonic maps, and bookshelves crowded with other odd items.

I grabbed the first thing I touched and found myself holding an emoty jam jar.

Frustrated and angry, I threw that useless thing away and grabbed for something else- a crystal ball. I scrabbled through object after object, finding myself holding more books, a few maps, one really weird black mask, a monkey claw, and finally, the worst of them all, a human skull.

The skull was fresh and new, I could tell, since there were still pieces of hair and flesh on it.

The flesh was pale and ragged, but the hair was shiny and teal and... familiar.

_Johan...!_

With another horrid shriek, I threw the skull away from me and continued to fall into the depths of the pitch blackness, where there was nothing to hold on to anymore.

Still I fell, as day passed into night, down and down, still falling.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, I landed on a hard wooden floor, smacking my head against the planks as I hit ground. "Ah!" I cried in pain as the wind was knocked out of me. Taking in a few needed breaths, I sat up, rubbing the back of my head where a bump was sure to form any moment now.

"Come now, Judai," Shou said in front of me.

I glanced up and saw him standing, perfectly unharmed and not in pain, right before me. He bounced back and forth on his heels, his gray eyes scanning me over as if to make sure I wasn't hurt anywhere else. I shivered and collected myself, thinking on the skull I had just grabbed. I saw that some of the hair was still clinging to my fingers.

"T-that wasn't... J-Johan, right?" I whispered.

Shou made me feel better by shaking his head. "No, the color is too dark, see?" He pointed to the strands on my fingers; he was right. They were more of an indigo than a teal, now that I could see better.

I sighed. "Oh, thank the gods."

"But he's still the Queen's captive, and still in danger." Shou turned his concerned gaze to me. "And so are you, so let's not dawdle."

With another pained nod, my head still swimming from the concussion that was probably forming slowly, I rose to my feet. My first thought was that I was in the same place I had been when I first arrived. I looked over and saw that the pile of pots and pans I had landed in were still there, now covered with a fine layer of old dust. A small trace of a smile graced my lips. I walked over to the pans and brushed my fingers over the dust, my mind wandering back to when I had first seen Johan here, standing before me with his hand out, smiling and looking every bit like a god. The memory of my innocence, before all of this happened, brought old tears to my eyes.

"Judai?" called Shou, now far away from me. "Don't dawdle!"

Wiping my eyes on my white sleeve, I turned and started to follow him down the same tunnel I had been in before. Looking around, I saw that the door that led to the Pool of Tears was gone, not in the same place it had been.

Trying to ignore trivial details, I continued onward.

Moving quickly toward the sound of Shou's voice, I found myself surrounded by ruins. Old statues without their heads got in my way occasionally, but in the end, I managed to maneuver around them with ease. My boots crunched on old porcelain and stone from broken statues. My eyes were everywhere at once; I didn't want to miss a detail. If the Queen knew I was here, who knows who she would send after me? My eyes narrowed and a rush of insanity took over.

_Let them come!_ my mind screamed. _I'll rip them all to pieces!_

A soft gasp escaped my lips the moment the thought passed me by. My shoulders shuddered violently. W-was it possible that I had really become so insane that I... could take life away without caring?

"Did you have an epiphany, dear boy?" cooed a voice from somewhere above my head.

Tears filled my eyes again, and these ones I didn't bother to wipe away.

I turned my gaze and stared at the Cheshire Cat.

Ruby sat, thin and wiry, on a small root that grew from the tunnel of the rabbit hole. Her fur was the color of old violets, her eyes the color of the blood my wrist had poured out. Her skin was thin and brittle, stretched over her skeleton, tight and breakable. But, despite her now malnourished appearance and her wicked blood-colored eyes, her smile was wide and as white and sweet as ever. The smile sent warms through my body, my heart pounding, my eyes producing a few tears.

"Y-y-" I cleared my throat and smiled softly. "You've grown quite mangy, Ruby, but that smile of yours is a comfort."

Ruby stood up and stretched, her bony tail twitching as she did, long jagged nails scraping on the root. "And you've picked up a bit of insanity, haven't you, Judai?" she asked; my heart skipped a bit. "Still eager for adventure?"

"Yes," I nodded once; I still was.

"Good," she grinned wider.

I glanced around at all the ruins surrounding me. I shuddered- I wasn't even fully into Wonderland yet. "Wonderland's become horrid," I said, my eyes shifting back to Ruby. "How am I going to find my way around without..." I stopped. I couldn't even bring myself to say his name without the feeling of tears creeping up my throat.

"Knowing where your going can also get you lost, so ask," said Ruby, her blood-red eyes flashing. "Shou knows a thing or two, and even I don't need a weathervane to tell where the wind is blowing."

Her eyes flashed whenever she spoke, and her grin seemed to glow as she did.

"Let your need be your Guide this time, Judai," she told me. "Pursue Shou- I won't be far behind."

With one last flash of her eyes, she was gone. I glanced around, as if expecting her grin to appear before she did as it did ten years ago, but it didn't, and I found myself quite alone.

Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath. The taste of Wonderland was different- it made me want to gag.

I let my instinct to lead vanish, and I ran after Shou. I could literally hear him fuming; he must've been angry with me for staying behind for such a long time.

Had he know I was speaking with Ruby? Maybe not.

Rounding the corner, I found myself standing in a wooden room, like the tunnel of a mining shaft. A strange troll-like man was standing near one of the carts, his green head and nasty black hair hanging over his face. He swayed from side to side, humming a strange song that I didn't know what it meant. Advancing on him, I saw that his body was covered with countless scars- some old and some new. Some of them were so new that they were even bleeding. He lifted his head and blinked at me with suken white eyes as I advanced. He had no pupils, but I knew he was looking right at me.

"Are you him?" he whispered.

"Who?" I asked.

The troll used the cart to walk toward me- it was by this time that I noticed how mangled and broken his legs were.

He reached a fat hand toward me. "Him... the savior from the prophecy." His voice was old and ragged, as if this were his first time speaking in a few years. I wondered, looking back on it, it were true. How often had this man spoken? How often had anyone listened? Had he learned that no one cared, so he stopped talking?

I frowned. "I'm not a savior, sir."

He ignored me and continued forward. "The savior... I'd know that brown hair anywhere. You're that boy from ten years ago. Judai Yuki. That's you, right? It has to be."

"I'm Judai Yuki," I answered.

He drew back suddenly, a scornful look in his eyes. "Prove it."

"Pardon?"

"You might be one of the Queen's tricks, sent to give us false hope of being saved. Prove me wrong."

I frowned. How was I supposed to prove I was me? Then it dawned on me: my Oyster mark!

I rolled up my white sleeve and shoved my arm under the troll's nose. I showed off the green mark, the same color as emeralds, on my flesh, on my forearm, forming a strange foreign pattern.

His white eyes widened, and grimy purple tears dripped down his cheeks. He looked at me, said, "Our savior," and then sunk to his knees in a strange bow.

I rolled my sleeve back up and awkwardly patted him on the head. He cried harder at my touch, as if it were giving him more hope. He truly had it in his mind that I would be able to save Wonderland. I frowned at this. I was no savior. I couldn't even save myself from becoming insane. And yet here was this poor troll, on his knees and crying, thinking that I was the savior who would rescue them from the Queen of Hearts. The troll took my hand in his own and shook it.

"Please," he whispered. "Save us."

I pursed my lips. "I'll certainly try."

Those words were good enough; he continued to cry harder and smile. "Thank you," he whispered. "Bless you."

Taking my hand back, I looked up and spotted Shou angrily thumping his foot. He took out his pocket watch and pointed at it, his gray eyes letting me know how annoyed with me he was.

"Come, Judai!" he snapped. "We can't dawdle!"

Saying a soft farewell to the still sobbing troll, patting him once more on the head for good measure, I walked over to Shou.

He frowned and pocketed his watch. "God, took ya twenty minutes to find me?"

Confusion reigned in my mind. "Twenty?" I looked around and tried to see if anything had changed. Nothing had. No one had come.

"Aye," Shou nodded his head slowly. "You see, the Queen, she... corrupted the Mad Hatter. She got him and Time to work together again, and now she can bend Time to do whatever she wants it to do. All she has to do is speak to the Mad Hatter, and he'll do anything she asks of him. It's really rather sad actually."

I nodded through half of the conversation until I heard the name. "M-Mad Hatter? Jim?"

Shou frowned and nodded. "He was one of the last ones corrupted."

"W-who was first?"

"The Duchess... and then the Caterpillar."

Images of my friends- Rei the Duchess in her fancy dresses and Ryo the Caterpillar in his weird black trench coat- flashed through my mind. "No," I whispered, shaking my head slowly.

"No one else his uncorrupted," Shou said. He pursed his lips. "The others have either been broken... or captured."

Something seemed to strike him at that moment.

"Oh, before I forget..."

He reached into his waistcoat and pulled out a familiar knife. He shined the blade on his shirt and handed it to me.

I reached out and held the silver knife. The blade was as shiny as I remembered it, but why did I remember it? I felt the black handle and saw that it was made entirely of obsidian. I turned it over and saw a bit of crusted dark and light purple blood on the blade, wiped clean on someone's shirt countless years ago.

My heart skipped as the memory of the knife came back.

"J-Johan's... knife."

"He would've wanted you to have it," Shou whispered, placing his hand on the black handle. "Think of it as if he's protecting you."

Bitter tears rolled down my cheeks. I bit back my sobs, clenched the knife to my chest, and dreamed of Johan. I could barely recall what he looked like, let alone what his voice sounded like. All I knew was that his hair was teal, his eyes were green, and his voice was gentle. I remembered how his body felt when he held me after I'd been hurt by the Jabberwock. The memory of that demonic dragon stuck with me, being the bane of my nightmares for the past few years. I couldn't even remember what Johan's kiss tasted like, what Johan smelled like, nothing... The memory of him seemed just like a dream. If it weren't for the fact that Shou kept saying his name, I might've been inclined to believe that... that Johan never existed in the first place...

Shou took my hand. "Let's go."

He led me around the winding mining hole. We passed various trolls and other humanoids. They were much like the first; scars, fresh and old, on their backs, tears in their eyes.

Many of them looked at me and leered, wondering if I was another of the Queen's tricks.

But this changed when my sleeve was rolled up.

The trolls stared at me like I was the messiah. Many of them dropped to their knees, purple tears streaming down their cheeks. Some were saying prayers, thanking God, and begging me to free Wonderland from the Queen of Hearts.

I nodded, assuring them that I would try.

When we got closer to the end of the mining shaft, Shou stopped me with his arm.

"This is as far as you go," he said.

"Huh?" I glanced around. We were in the middle of nowhere, all the trolls missing in action. I turned back to look at Shou, but he was off, talking to a strange pink-skinned woman that had appeared from nowhere.

He was pointing at me, and when the woman looked, I smiled.

She nodded once and returned to whispering to Shou. When they finished, Shou nodded to me and then rushed off. I reached after him, confused as to where he was going and whether or not I was supposed to follow. The pink-skinned woman walked up to me and patted me on the arm, her eyes scanning me three or four times.

"To follow him, you'll have to find a shrinking potion," she said.

"Where is one?"

The woman pointed off to the other end of the mining shaft. "That way," she said. "I'd take you myself, but there's too many Cards, and if they see you and me together, Lord knows what the Queen will do."

"Understood." I did. The Queen scared them. I was scared too...

She pointed me in the right direction again, and I rushed down the hall. Clutching Johan's knife to me, I moved down the hall. My boots clattered against the hard floor, scuffing up dirt and grime. I heard clattering in the distance, toward where I was running. There must've been Cards there for me, waiting until I came and fought.

I raised Johan's knife.

Let 'em come! I was ready!

* * *

Me: Okay! Judai's obtained Johan's knife, the very same he used to stab out the Jabberwock's eye! So, it's sorta like Johan is protecting Judai from everything that means to hurt him in Wonderland.

Lucy: That's so sweet!

Me: But now Judai's got a bigger problem; Cards. If he can't beat the Cards, then he'll be killed, and he'll never rescue Johan and save Wonderland!

Lucy: Please review and we shall update as soon as we can!


	4. Stage 2 Point 1: Banshees and Cards

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter three of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: The Cards are starting to surround Judai, and there's something he's supposed to do. He has to get a shrinking potion so he can enter into Wonderland in order to find Johan!

Me: But is it as easily said as done?

Lucy: In order to find out, please read on to find out if Judai survives, or if he ends up being slaid by the minions of the Queen of Hearts, ruining his chances at rescuing Johan and all of his friends from her clutches!

_**Stage Two Point One: Banshees and Cards**_

By the time the mess of Cards arrived, I was already prepared. They were hideous, every last one of them- the scent of the Queen and her corruption eked off them like perfume.

Clad in vile crimson armor, each Card held a jagged spear or a shattered ax. Their eyes, peeking through the holes in their armor, were bloodshot and yellow. Their mouths oozed with foam, and all they did was make grunting and moaning sounds, like those of a zombie. They reached ragged, broken limbs out to me, eyes flashing with rage and hunger. Several bits of pus filed on their wounds, the yellow color adding to the infected look their corruption gave off.

I lifted my, uh, _Johan's_ knife, my eyes narrowing. "Bring it."

They rushed me all at once.

The swarm of red came at me faster than lightning, but I was prepared.

Slicing my arm forward, the blade tore through them as if they were nothing more than mere pieces of paper. Grunts and a few pained growls at my attacks followed, but I didn't let up.

These damned Cards were following the Queen of Hearts, the one I'd made promise not to attack Wonderland. They'd made a fool of me by their manner of taking Johan away from me. If hacking them into pieces got me closer to rescuing Johan and restoring Wonderland to normal, then I'd cut down anyone who got in my way.

"Come on!" I screeched, hacking them down one by one.

Some of the Cards retreated. I hacked them apart too. I heard a weird noise breaking through the sky as I painted it red with their blood and my knife. I was laughing.

"I'll cut you all down at once!"

I cut one to my right.

He fell.

I cut another, he didn't die as easily.

"Ha ha!"

Pleasure and pain surged and fought inside me. My body tingled with disgust, but my brain was shouting at my body to suck it up and deal with it, there was no other choice. My laughters of pleasure and pain died down as I stared at the blood that splattered the front of my body. My knife cut through them like they were nothing, and they were. They were useless Cards, and like anything else that got in my way, I was going to cut them down faster than anyone could blink.

"Is that it?" I shrieked when they stopped coming. I turned and flashed a glance around all directions, searching for them. "Come on! I'll cut down anyone who gets in my way...!"

_Anyone?_ A soft voice rung in my head.

I momentarily slowed in my actions. _What?_

_Would you cut down anyone? Really? Any-one?_

The voice was familiar. It was gentle and polite and a little shy.

"Jo...han?"

_I'm here with you, Judai, even if you don't believe that I am. So calm down, you don't need to do this._

My trembling hand lowered the knife to my side. The blood suddenly felt sticky and gross in my hands. I looked down, my heart thumping in my rib cage, my eyes watering.

My memories were... gone.

What was I here for? Why was I fighting?

_Judai..._

My body shook, and a ripping sound pulsed through me. I choked; I couldn't breathe. I clawed at my throat, but it didn't help. I opened my mouth to gulp in air, but nothing worked. I stretched and screamed silently. What? What was I here for? What had I done? Why were all these Cards dead all aroud me? What did I do? D-did I do this? The screaming became desperate; my voice wouldn't work. Tears were dripping down my cheeks and mixing with the splattered blood. How had that got there?

"W-what did I...?"

_Judai!_ Johan's voice called in the back of my mind. _Judai, calm down! It's all right! Calm down!_

"_EEEEEEEEE_...!"

Johan's voice instantly disappeared from my mind the moment the shriek was emitted from somewhere on my right.

My memories returned with a vengeful snap. I was here because Wonderland was corrupted. It was corrupted because of the Queen. I was here to kill her and rescue Johan, my beloved, who awaited me somewhere in the Queen's castle. He was speaking to me, he was alive. Or... maybe he was speaking to me from beyond the dead... Waiting for me to come to join him.

I turned the knife to my chest.

_No, Judai!_ Johan shrieked in the back of my mind. _I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Don't kill yourself!_

I paused; he was alive? "Johan," I whispered, glancing around. "I'm coming to rescue you. Tell that bitch when I get there, she'd better watch her back, got me?"

_No!_ Johan started me with his answer. _She'll kill you if you come here!_

"Small price to pay for your safety."

_Judai-_

"Besides..."

I reached down and brushed my fingers over the bandages on my wrist, the white bandages covering the fresh scar on my pale flesh. I winced as I remembered the feel of the life that I tore across my veins, the color of the crimson blood as it oozed into a puddle around me, the smell of the infection as it started to spread when I continued to scratch at it long after it's started to heal.

"I've almost wished for death once in my life."

Johan didn't answer, I didn't expect him to. After all, what could he say now that he knew his love was once suicidal?

"_EEEEEEEEE_...!"

The shriek was closer now, and I turned. Where was it coming from?

_Ju...dai..._

Johan's voice came in broken and ragged. It were as if he were speaking through a radio with low frequency. Or maybe that frequency was my brain waves. Was my insanity ruining it?

"Johan?"

_Judai... help... Queen... don't... run..._

"Johan!"

He was gone.

Whatever he'd been trying to say, he never repeated. He didn't speak again. I felt so alone. Ever since I came into Wonderland, I'd felt like there was someone by my side with his hand on my shoulder. That must've been Johan. But now that he was gone, I'd never felt more alone. I felt more alone than I had the first night I'd been sent to the insane asylum. I felt more alone than when I'd watched the ceiling, wondering if anyone knew I was still alive, or if they even cared. I felt more alone than when I'd tried to commit suicide with my dad's old pocket knife. I felt more alone than I had when I started getting abused by the other patients and the workers. At least during that, I was able to contain my emotions and seem like I was unbreakable. But now... I was like a tree during a storm. Easily broken.

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_...!"

I turned this time.

A strange woman stood several meters away from me, pacing the floor, her eyes locked on me.

She would've been pretty if it hadn't been for the corruption of the Queen altering her features.

Her hair was messy and blond, framing a teal face. Her skin was as teal as her face was, and just as wicked and corrupted. Several wounds were on her stomach and arms. Her stomach was slightly bloated, so I figured she was pregnant. She dressed in rags, cut off to allow heavy metal wings to flutter against her arms. Black eyes with a pinpoint white of pupil stared at me, mouth dripping venom and green drool. Her hands were extended, revealing long jagged gray talons meant for tearing people to pieces.

I stepped back and reached for my knife. "Who the fuck are you?"

She cocked her head as if not understanding me. Her lips drew back over her foaming teeth.

"What?" I asked mockingly. "Can't speak? Too stupid?"

She opened her mouth wide. "_EEEEEEE_...!"

My hands flew to my ears. When she was far away, it was easy to ignore her screaming. When she was a meter away from me, it sounded like the scrape of nails on a charkboard inside my head. I could feel my brain cells committing suicide. The pain surged through me as she continued to scream at me with that horrid screeching cry of hers.

When she stopped screaming, it was like my body had been turned to Jell-O.

I sunk down and shuddered. "W-what was...?"

"The Banshees are famous for their screaming, but that's the most of what they can do," Ruby murmured, suddenly materializing by my side. Her new corrupted form- thin and malnourished- still startled me. "Pursue them with your blade and do not let anything they do distract you. They are all liars, even their bodies play tricks."

I looked at the Banshee and frowned.

She was pacing the floor around me, her black eyes locked on me. Ruby smirked at her and then vanished.

I raised my knife. "Come on," I smirked.

The Banshee looked at me, frowned, and shrieked again. I was prepared. I stopped listening, stopped trying to focus on her scream, and then I charged her with Johan's knife, my scream matching hers. She threw her head back, hair and wings whipping like a sword. I pointed the blade at her. Despite what Johan had said, if slaying countless creatures meant that I would be able to see him again, be able to see him in a Wonderland that suited his personality-kind and innocent and sane- then I would cut down anyone who stood in my way. No matter who they were.

* * *

Me: Oh no! Judai's fighting a Banshee, and something awful's happened to Johan!

Lucy: And poor Judai's personality is that of a wicked, insane person. He'll cut down anyone, no matter who they are, if it means getting back his love Johan, but does he really mean anyone?

Me: What will happen next time?

Lucy: Please review and we shall update as soon as we can!


	5. Stage 2 Point 2: Shrinking Judai

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter four of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: In our previous chapter, Judai got some contact with Johan for a little while, but then something happened to Johan, and now Judai doesn't know if he's all right or not!

Me: And now he's fighting a Banshee!

Lucy: What's next in Judai's horrible life and quest to find Johan and rescue him and Wonderland?

_**Stage Two Point Two: The Incredible Shrinking Judai**_

An old song played in my head... A song I once knew a long time ago.

_The right hand that grabs is the color of ice_  
_The pledge on the left ringer finger freezes_  
_The left neck is red_  
_Her, "It's going to flow"_

My blade tears through flesh; I scream curses in foreign tongues.

_The heart you eat steams and melts_  
_Love and hate separates_  
_You said "Even after deafeat"_  
_I was allowed to break the song (So he thinks)_

The Banshees flee as I scream. They have learned to fear me, a mere mortal who has enough insanity to strike them down. Good. I'd prefer they flee and tell the others to avoid me rather than have more come after me.

More come.

The message hasn't reached far enough.

_The body falls down the middle of the stairs after it's broken_  
_It sounded like broken glass_  
_The ailment that exists gets harder to detect_  
_The world turned upside down and fell to the sky_

_Floating (Falling) and he saw_  
_Her, "The girl with eyes the color of the sea"_  
_Go ahead and look to the sky, it's already cold as white ice_  
_She's "already been around the world"_  
_And_  
_She's "already became a queen"_

I cut one across the mouth. She falls, frothy foam gurgling around her lips. It touches my arm. IT BURNS!

I rip my burned arm away; I hiss.

The burn vanishes moments later, for some odd reason. I hiss again, like a snake. My eyes lock with those of the dead Banshee. She is long into death, and I smile.

Good.

_The girl's sea eyes watered and said "It's being made"_  
_My heart freezes the queen_  
_Who wears an icy dress and a pledge on her finger_

_"I'll cut it!"_  
_The cut on the left arm is where is grows_  
_Hyacinth of ice (Purple flowers) whose petals fall and scatter_  
_The girl smiled back with a broken look_

Johan'd been horrified if he could see me like this; his sweet Judai hacking apart creatures with his knife. But I'm not his sweet innocent Judai anymore. I'm a vicious killer, an insane monster, a demon in a human skin.

I kill creatures that threaten me, and I can only pray that Johan isn't afraid of me when I rescue him. But there's no one who can change me now. I am insane. I am Wonderland's perfect insanity.

Wonderland Insanity's Judai.

* * *

The dead bodies of three Banshees, two young and one old, a male and two females, lay dead in a puddle of crimson sludge. The sludge slipped from the cuts on their stomachs and faces, soaking through the black leather boots I wore.

I stood over them, Johan's onyx knife dripping rubies.

I gasped; I couldn't breathe. I hadn't thought about breathing since I started attacking.

I didn't stay to mourn the Banshees—I didn't care for them. I stepped over the bodies, a sign of disrespect in my culture, and continued to move along down the pathway the Banshees had been blocking. I'd cut them down in a matter of seconds. They weren't all that hard—once you fought a Banshee, the method of killing them seemed to fall into place.

_Method of killing them?_

God, when did I become such a hateful person?

The path was lined with black and purple tiles. It was like one of the rooms I'd been in at the circus when I was little, before Wonderland, before I became insane.

The old memories echoed inside the rafters of my mind.

I saw Jim lifting up a broken tea cup and waving the cold brown tea in my face. I saw the Jabberwock and all its horrid glory smirking down at me as it tore through my arm. I saw Johan standing before me, his face a mystery. Shou stood beside Ryo, the Caterpillar, trembling as he told me the story of the giant creature that'd ruined his home (I had to laugh—it had been about me, after all). The Queen of Hearts and her evil eyes glaring at me when she found out I was the one who'd steal Wonderland from her. Her horrid voice screeching, "Off with his head!" as loud as she could manage, her voice echoing off the rafters.

_SCREEEEEEE...!_

Okay.

That definitely was _not_ the Queen.

My attention snapped to the ceiling, where another Bashee and her leathery wings awaited me.

She blinked sticky yellow eyes and lowered herself to the ground. Her leathery body and protruding stomach stood out among the rest of her ugly features, but my main focus was on her wings. Cut off the wings, and it can't escape. A trapped Banshee is a dead Banshee. I'd figured that one out a few hours ago, when I cut down my second Banshee.

"So," I said, running my finger over the blade. It knicked my thumb, setting a crimson bead of blood free. I licked it; it tasted saltier than normal. "I am in a very bad mood, Miss. Maybe you want to live a bit longer. If so, get out of my way."

The Banshee licked nasty lips, jagged teeth glinting.

"I'll take that as a no?" I asked.

She screeched again—_SCREEEEEE...!_—and launched herself at me with all her might.

* * *

I kicked the second of many Banshee bodies out of my way. It crumpled to the floor like a wad of old paper. Crackled nails reached for my throat, dull dead eyes stared unendingly at me. I was drenched in their foul, sticky blood. But it didn't matter. I'd cut my way through them and had gotten to the place where the woman had told me of.

I found myself at the mouth of a giant mining shaft.

Now all I had to do was find the shrinking potion and bring it back to that pink-skinned woman, and then she would show me the way to go so I could get to the castle.

I advanced through the mouth of the hole, my eyes on the floor. I couldn't hear anymore banshees.

Mice and rats, malnourished and weak, scrambled to get out of my way. I saw them out the corners of my eyes, but I paid them no mind. When I was younger, I was slightly afraid of mice and rats. But now, they were the least of my problems.

One mouse in particular was trying to snatch a piece of cheese from a high shelf, but it was too small and weak to climb.

Feeling generous, and sorry for the poor creature, I plucked the cheese off the table and placed it in front of the old mouse's nose.

It sniffed, and for the first time in a while, I felt a surge of pleasure. The mouse glanced at me with thankful eyes, took the cheese in its little paws, and scampered off into its hidey-hole.

I didn't wait for it; I had to hurry.

Getting deeper and deeper into the mineshaft, I became aware of something I'd never noticed before.

The old _whir-click_ of machinery churned behind me.

I turned around and stared into the darkness. Something was there. I didn't care what, but something was. The thin hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Electricity prickled along my skin. I could feel the fight starting insideme. I wanted them to come. Whatever it was, whoever it was, I wanted to fight them. I could feel it itching behind a wall of smooth flesh. My heart hammered; my body burned. I watched, close-minded and still, as the metallic structure of what appeared to be a turtle appeared.

The beast was about the size of a small carriage, and it shifted forward on rusty wheels toward me.

Cannons of all sizes and lengths lined its back, and its eyeless face turned toward me. I could smell its fear, taste its desire for a fight, feel the aura of lust and wanting.

I felt the same things—fear, desire, lust, and wanting.

I hugged myself and leaned back. The prickling burned through me. I wanted the beast to come, but he wasn't moving. He sat back a good few feet from me, biding his time. He could've shot me with one of his cannons and have been done with it, but I imagine that he also wanted the fight to happen. I could feel his desires coursing through my veins. I ran my tongue over my lips, tasting the rapidly-approaching battle.

"Come on." My eyes opened, filled with bloodlust and desire. "I want to play, big guy. Come on!"

I threw my head back and laughed—my body burned.

The creature turned one of its guns down toward me, and I heard the groaning of metal. It took me a moment to realize that the beast was starting to laugh.

"_You must be what smells so good, what feels so good in the air_," he murmured. His voice tore together like rusty plates; it hurt my ears. "_I can't wait to tear into you!_"

"Amazing," I murmured softly, lifting Johan's knife up to my eye-level. "I was just about to say the same thing."

I threw Johan's blade forward; it nailed the creature firmly in the head.

It growled and flew back, hitting the wall of the mineshaft hard. It screeched painfully, but then started laughing.

Its laughter soon changed.

It was groaning, suffering, but I didn't care. I walked up to it and folded my arms across my chest. The beast was so weak—one little knife to the head and it was down for the count.

The creature stared blindly up at me. "_You're the best I've ever had_," he groaned, still laughing. "_I can't wait to destroy you_..."

I pursed my lips; I plucked Johan's knife from its head. White blood dripped down the things forehead and onto my arm. I resisted the urge to lick it off—but the urge was almost too much to bear. I controlled myself by staring down, coldly, at the dying creature at my feet. My grip on the knife grew tight; I could feel the bloodlust fading. This thing was such a disappointment.

"Sorry," I told it, plain and simple. "You don't do it for me."

I gripped the long knife and ripped it straight forward, tearing through the beast and upward. It blinked, confused.

I didn't stick around long. I turned on my heel and walked down the continuation of the mineshaft, leaving the creature to bleed to death. It turned its face in my direction, sensing where I was going, and grew angry.

"_Hey_!" it bellowed. "_I'm not finished with you_—"

The cut finally registered in its mind; it exploded into a mixture of white, foamy blood and metal parts. They rained around me, but I kept on going forward, determined to find the shrinking potion that I would need to follow Shou. Something flew, hard and fast, and landed on the ground in front of me.

I glanced down. It was a bottle.

I knelt down and picked up the bottle. It was made of blue glass, and it was small and thin. It had a white tag around the nose, and it read, in red letters: 'DRINK ME'.

An old memory flashed through my mind—a memory long forgotten. Johan and I were in the room where I'd first met him, surrounded by doors. He handed me a bottle of nasty-smelling (and tasting) liquid, that then shrunk me down and allowed me to enter the Pool of Tears with him. The taste of the liquid in my memory brought me back to reality. I glanced down at the bottle, and knew right away that I'd found the shrinking potion, thanks to that dead turtle monster.

I gripped the bottle tight, and left the mineshaft.

Amazingly, on my way home, no one came to stop me. No banshees, no Cards, no beasts—nothing. I continued on my way, all through the area of Wonderand I was in, until I found the pink-skinned lady Shou had been speaking to.

I showed her the bottle without a word.

"Oh, you found it!" she cooed. "Good. Now, drink, and I'll send you on your way."

I did as instructed. The vile taste of the shrinking potion brought back memories of Johan that I missed. I tried to fight back tears, but the woman would probably assume the taste was what made me cry. My body burned, and then I shrunk down (and my clothe shrunk too, thank God), and the woman plucked me up into her soft palm. She told me to be careful, and I just nodded. I was in no mood to talk to anyone right now. Johan's knife had shrunk along with me, for some odd reason, and I was thankful for that.

The woman opened the tiny door, and pushed me through.

The sound of running water churned all around me. I opened my mouth and screamed—a battle cry and a warning—as the woman released me into the ebb of darkness and Tears.

* * *

Me: Yes! Judai's managed to find a shrinking potion, and now he's off to find the Duchess, his old friend Rei!

Lucy: But according to Shou, Rei was one of the first ones corrupted.

Me: So what does that mean? Will the Duchess recognize Judai when he appears, or will they be forced to fight? Remember what Judai said: _I will cut down anyone who gets in my way of saving Johan_. But does he truly mean that? Does Judai really mean that he'll cut down _anyone_ to get his beloved Johan back? Anyone at all?

Lucy: Please review and we shall update as soon as we can!

Me: Oh! And the song Judai was remembering is "Blue Ice Castle" by Miku from the Vocaloids. In fact, pretty much every song in the Dark Woods Circus saga fits with this story and what Judai is doing!


	6. Stage 3 Point 1: The Duchess

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter five of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: Judai's been realizing that he is starting to go insane, and he's facing the problems of Wonderland.

Me: This is a rather creepy chapter, for Judai, and we will learn some things about his ten years in the insane asylum that no one seems to know about. Judai's sanity is called into question.

Lucy: Enjoy!

_**Stage Three Point One: The Duchess**_

_I'm not mad_.

Water rushes over my head, pushing me under, suffocating me.

_I'm not mad_.

I'm screaming now. Unable to fight. Unable to struggle. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it fucking hurts.

The currents hold me under, the salty water of my own tears. Pain is a live thing inside me, and it fucking hurts. When I try to think of Johan, try to make myself cling to my sanity, she laughs at me and pushes me underneath, and Johan disappears. Sometimes, he screams my name, tells me to hang on. Other times he cries. Most of the time, he screams for me to run away. The rush of waves drowns out his other words.

_I'm..._

My hands claw desperately for safety, for land. Fight, fight, fight!

The surface moves quickly, and I drown. Am I dead? How many times have I wished for that? Many, many times. I was suicidal, for a time. Am I still? I don't know. It hurts too much to tell. My fingers touch air, and they're not wet.

_...not..._

I gasp; bubbles shoot through the darkness.

_...mad..._

My body won't register the flailing of my arms, the kicking of my legs, but I'm moving. Up, down, left, right? I know not.

I break through the surface, claw to safety.

I taste the air, the freedom, the corruption above me.

I can breathe...

My hands touch sand, digging deep, and drag me to the shore. I climb onto the land, and I choke. I take in as much of the fresh air as I can, knowing it's useless to do anything else. I choke, sob, and feel everything but death.

I can breathe...

I'm alive!

* * *

I heard their voices before I saw them. My eyes were closed tight, and I refused to open them—or rather, I couldn't find the strength to open them.

"Is it him? Oh, it has to be him."

Soft hands ran through the brown tresses on my head. The fingers turned my arm over, examining my wrist. "He's got the Oyster Mark," said another voice, sharper and higher than the last. "It just has to be him!"

My eyelids flutter. "Mm."

"Oh! He's awakening!"

I sat up, my eyes blinking rapidly. Two creatures were sitting in front of me, blinking as quickly as I was. One looked like a turtle without a shell, the other looked like a purple lioness. My hand reached up and touched my head. "Ugh," I groaned. "What happened?" My memories were dulled, and I couldn't remember details.

"You fell into the Pool of Tears," said the shellless turtle.

The purple cat, in a soft feminine voice, told me, "We fished you out."

"Oh." I closed my eyes, drawing in some breaths. My lungs burned, painfully. But I could breathe. I was alive. "Thank you."

"Don't thank us just yet," the turtle told me. "We saved you because we need your help."

Amazingly, I wasn't surprised by their motivations for rescuing me. "I should have expected that." I imagined that the Queen of Hearts imprisoned—or did worse—to those who helped others. "So, is it due to the fact that I'm '_The_ Judai' and need to save Wonderland?"

"No," said the purple cat. "But first, we should introduce ourselves. People call me Amethyst Cat, but others know me as the Lioness."

"And my name is Emerald Tortoise," said the shellless turtle. "But people know me as the Mock Turtle."

"Peculiar," I said, thinking of my trip of Wonderland all those years ago. "I don't believe I met you two when I came here last time." They nodded their heads solemnly, though I doubted it was because they hadn't met me before. "So, what do you need me for?"

The turtle hung his head. "M-my shell was stolen."

I raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

While the turtle sniffled against the salty tears forming in his beady black eyes, I took note of my surroundings. We were on the edge of the Pool of Tears, in amongst the marshes. A giant house made of a few shells rested behind me. I didn't know what size I was now, and honestly, I didn't want to know. The shell house looked frightening and dark. I felt something tugging me close, like a string connected to me from the door.

"My shell," said the turtle. "The Duchess took it."

"The Duchess?" I thought of Rei, her smile, her green robes, her black hair. I sighed at the peaceful memory. Then I remembered what Ruby had told me about her corruption.

"Yes. She took it when she tried to eat me," Emerald Tortoise continued. "I need to get it back, or else I won't be able to swim!"

I closed my eyes. "I do apologize if this seems rude, but what does your shell have to do with me? Can't you get it back on your own? I'm rather busy trying to find the Queen of Hearts and restore Wonderland back to its normal self, if you havem't already noticed."

"But you have to help!" Emerald Tortoise sobbed. "Without my shell, I can't swim. And if I can't swim, you can't get out of here."

He then proceeded to explain to me that Wonderland was different than I remembered, and laid out differently. I groaned when I heard this. I didn't know my way except for the memories of Johan and how he'd shown me around. The Tortoise told me that, if I got his shell back, he would bring me into the Pool of Tears and lead me safely to the other side of Wonderland, where I really needed to be. I figured I had no choice but to assist him.

"Fine then," I said. "In her house?"

"Yes."

"Very well." I stood up, cracked my knuckles, and reached for my knife. "I'll return with your shell as soon as I can. Sit tight."

Without waiting to see if they heard me or not, I walked to the Duchess's door. I didn't bother to knock—what kind of intruder knocked before entering? I kicked the slab out of my way, and felt the invisible string tugging on my heart, pulling me deep inside the house.

* * *

The kitchen was in ruins.

Cupboards were broken, doors ripped off. Silverware stuck into the walls, deep and bloody. Wallpaper peeled back, revealing wet, moldy walls. Plates and china shards littered the cracked floorboards, and old pots were filled with moldy soup and metal ladles. A fire crackled in the fireplace, big and covered in dust. A stewpot bubbled over the roaring flames, smelling of rot and death. It took all I had not to keel over and vomit.

A woman stood in the darkness of the room, waiting for me.

She glared with smoldering brown eyes, her skin hanging on her face as if it were a size too big for her skull. Ebony locks hang in her face from a tall green cap. Filthy rags of green and blue hung on her body, thin and malnourished. Her hands were curved into bloody claws. At her feet laid a dead inhuman baby and a headless body in a chef's uniform. The red blood smeared on her face let me know that she had probably eaten the head.

Scabs and old cuts littered her skin, once flawless and pretty. Yellowing pus broke from the red flesh as she moved. The wounds—they smelled of infection. Pepper circled her hair, and she smelled like the asylum. The scent alone caused me to reel away, as if her appearance hadn't done that.

She looked through my soul when I entered. "You!" she hissed. "Come all this way to be my snack, hmm?"

Her voice was ragged and vile, not like the way I remembered. I'd seen her often enough in my dreams to know that much.

"Hmph." I stuck my nose in the air. "I'm not edible."

"Not _now_," she agreed, sizing me up with a quick sweep. "But with a little glaze and some seasonings, you'll be a perfectly appropriate little dish. My last one"—she kicked the chef's headless carcass at her feet—"didn't work out as well as I'd have liked."

I set my jaw, determined not be swayed by the Queen's petty tricks.

"I'll have none of your games, Rei Saotome." Her eyes sparkled hatefully at the name. "I'll take the Tortoise's shell back now."

She made a disgusting noise in the back of her throat. "Over my rotting, stinking corpse!"

The thought made me ill, but I told her coldly, "I'll do my best."

The Duchess grabbed a dented frying pan and lobbed it at me. It was easy enough to dodge—her aim wasn't nearly what it use to be. I had to think fast. I didn't have anything except for Johan's knife, and I certainly wasn't going to risk losing that by tossing it at her. Truth be told, I wasn't even so sure how good my aim was.

I figured my only other choice was to get close enough to Rei to slash. She whirled on me, drool dripping from her clenched teeth. _Okay_, I thought, my hand tightening around the handle of Johan's knife. _That might be easier thought than done_.

"Come on, chickie," Rei shouted. "I'm starving over here."

"I told you before." I reached for something—anything to throw.

My fingers fumbled on her shelves, and she started stomping closer. Her long bloody nails crackled toward me. I raised the knife, threateningly, but the Duchess wasn't scared. She was taller than me, much more powerful, and unless I did something very powerful in the next sixty seconds, my fate was sealed.

"I."

My hand found an old plate.

"Am."

I raised it—she charged closer, boots clacking sickeningly on the tiles.

"Not."

Her eyes were wild with hatred and hunger. She couldn't drag this fight out much longer.

"EDIBLE!"

I threw the plate in her face. It shattered apart with such an ear-splitting bang, Rei threw her hands up and screamed. The pieces of china clattered to the ground, bloody and broken. I took the brief moment to run up and slash at her with my knife. I clipped her chin, peeking out between her hands, and she roared in pain again. I had to move out of the way of her dancing feet. She screamed loud curses at me, then removed her hands and showed me the damage I'd caused.

I'd definitely done worse. Her left eye was swollen shut, blinded by blood. A long gash started just underneath her right eye, tearing her cheek wide open to her chin. The cut caused some of the old yellow pus to flow out, too. The cut on her chin was thin and weak, not some of my better work. I made a mental note to attack the upper portion of the face next time, as it seemed to be where the most damage could be done. Spit and flecks of froth dripped from her mouth, and she roared at me with fresh blood-stained lips. "You'll pay for this, Judai Yuki!" she bellowed. She swung her arms at me, clawing for my arms and face. "You'll pay, you'll pay, you'll pay dearly for this!"

"What happened to you?" I yelled back, grabbing for another plate. "You used to be my friend!"

"Worthless dish," she answered, snapping off each individual word. "You don't even know your own past, and that's a fact."

The fire was real. The deaths of my parents were real. The death of my brother was real. Madness came back. I nearly dropped the knife, but thank God for self control. Fog clouded my mind, thick and black as Death.

"_The child's burned, get a doctor!_" someone shouted behind me.

I didn't dare turn—Rei would cut me if I did.

"_He's infected with madness. We can cure him, if he lets us_."

My legs wouldn't work. She saw this, and advanced, bloody and broken. I didn't move to stop her, to defend myself. My knees, in black cloth, knocked together. I was scared. Scared to death of the images I saw before me.

Men approaching in white coats, telling me it was all right. Nurses pinning me to a bed and injecting me with painful needles. Two fat doctors laughing and poking me while I was half-under, their fingers traveling lower and entering places they should never have touched. My screams, counted by the doctors as a madman's bellowing, not a rape victim's pleas for help. So many times they had touched me, so many times their fingers had taken shreds of my sanity, of my innocence. But no one ever helped. Even when I told someone—a kind nurse I thought would listen—she disregarded my truths as the notions of a madman and dismissed me. That's why I stabbed her and sent her to the hospital.

"_Judai, calm down_."

"_Stop being so tense—it won't hurt as much_."

"_You're being silly, Judai. Doctor Rumsfeld and Doctor Sanders are nice men. You're just dreaming, Judai. It's not real_."

"_You little whore, scream for us again, will you? You can, you know, 'cause no one will help a madman_."

"No," I whispered, finding my back against the wall. Rei's eyes were as alive as theirs had been when they loomed over my half-naked form, though hers were hungry in another way, a much more normal way, than theirs had been. "I-I'm not a madman."

The Duchess sneered at me. "You are," she told me. "You're mad, Judai."

I shook, like a leaf in the wind. "No. No, I'm..."

"_He's mad, doctor_."

"_Madman_."

"_He can't be trusted_."

"_Unsafe_."

People screaming and glaring at me. Doctors grabbing me. Doctors restraining me in a straightjacket. Doctors running razor blades over my head, cutting my hair off until I was as bald as a babe. The girls watching as I stumbled through the streets once the insane asylum released me, straightjackte filthy, brown hair just barely starting to grow back. Ten years spent growing, aging, wasting away in the old room they gave me. Female patients abusing me, physically. Male doctors abusing me, sexually. Male patients abusing me, both ways, sometimes at the same time.

"_Unclean_."

"_Mad whore_."

"_You're mine now, you psychotic bitch_."

"NOOOO...!" I grabbed the nearest thing I could—a pepper shaker, large as the Duchess's head—and threw it.

The pepper exploded in her face. Rei drew back, stunned. Her nose wrinkled against the flying masses of powder. She sniffed a few times, and then her eyes watered, tears and blood mixing together. She opened her mouth, made a strange noise I recognized, and her eyes continued to water. She sneezed, taking a staggering step backwards. Her face contorted in pain, and she sneezed again, much harder and fiercer this time. Then she sneezed once more, stronger and harder than any other, and her head exploded.

I don't know how it happened, and I didn't care to.

Rei's skin expanded, and her skull blew outward—shards of bone, shreds of muscle and brain, and teeth splattered on the walls. Her headless body stumbled back and forth, for half a second, then she fell to the ground with a dull _THUMP_.

The room around me was silent, minus the crackling of fire and the bubbling of soup.

I heard these things as if they were a million miles away.

In my mind's eye, I saw nothing except Rei's corpse. Her shattered head, her headless body laying broken and in pieces on the floor, with the rest of her victims.

No.

This couldn't be happening.

I—I couldn't have really killed my friend.

No.

This was a nightmare. This was a nightmare. This was a nightmare. This was a nightmare. _This was a nightmare!_

It couldn't be real! This couldn't be happening! I'm not insane! I'm not a murderer! I'm not meant to kill my friends! I—I was supposed to fight the Queen! She was the one I was meant to kill! No one else, just the Queen of Hearts!

No! Oh God, no! This wasn't true! This is a nightmare!

Rei, Rei, Rei! Wake up!

"No..." I stumbled back, my spine hitting the wall. I shivered, unable to unsee her dead body. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

I sunk to my knees, shaking and blinded by tears. I was frightened by what I saw, but somehow I knew this wasn't the end. There was more to come. That shook the very core of my being. The realization hit me like a knife in the face.

If I was to kill the Queen of Hearts and save Wonderland, I would have to kill those who'd become corrupted.

My friends.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_...!"

* * *

Me: Oh my God... J-Judai killed Rei!

Lucy: He's just as horrified as we are! He didn't mean to kill Rei!

Me: But this just proves that Judai's in for a rough time. In order to survive Wonderland and free Johan, Judai's going to have to kill many more of his friends if they are corrupted by the Queen of Hearts.

Lucy: We will update as soon as we can, so please review!


	7. Stage 3 Point 2: The Mock Turtle

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter six of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: In the previous chapter, Judai was sent on a mission to find the Mock Turtle's shell, which was taken by the Duchess. And the Duchess was one of Judai's dearest friends back in Wonderland when he was a child, but in the last chapter, he...

Me: He had no choice but to kill Rei.

Lucy: And now, we continue.

_**Stage Three Point Two: The Mock Turtle**_

"_Is that the boy from the neurotics ward?_"

"_Yes_."

"_Hmph. Tiny stick of a thing, isn't he?_"

My mind was clouded then, so clouded. They kept me drugged all the time, uneasy and unknowing.

"_Doesn't eat much_."

"_Come now, Judai, you _can't_ enjoy this_."

I didn't. I never would. But I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry, of seeing me upset. I kept my bald head lowered, my tears dripping when I was alone. Insanity often made madmen such as me able to handle many things.

Despite that, my tears wouldn't stop falling.

Insanity won't cure that.

* * *

The Mock Turtle and the Lion were waiting for me when I returned. They didn't say anything, but I knew they saw me. I didn't bother to clean up my face: the blood from Rei's splattered skull stained my left cheek, the flecks of vomit on my shirt and lips tasted and smelled terrible, the tears stained my cheeks beyond fixing. Yet I managed a blank, dead expression. I wouldn't let them see my madness. Wouldn't let them see me down.

"Did you take care of the Duchess?" asked Amethyst Cat.

"Mm." I tossed the giant tortoise shell I found in the Duchess's house to the turtle. "There."

"My shell!" He snatched the shell up and kissed it. His beady eyes filled with tears, happy, and he hugged the shell tight. He fitted it back on while I stared at the Pool of Tears.

Amethyst Cat slinked up and laid beside me. I didn't give her a second thought. The fish danced underneath the Pool of Tears, under the surface, sharp teeth and corruption waiting to kill me when I took a step in. Wonderland hated me. Wonderland loved me. Wonderland was mad.

_And so was I_.

"How did you handle the Duchess?" the Mock Turtle asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Pepper to the face," I told him. "Her head blew up."

The Lion blinked her wide eyes at me. "You..._killed_ her?"

"I've changed quite a bit, Miss Lion." She didn't seem to be angry with me, and I took that as a good sign. Still, I didn't care what they thought. I pulled Johan's knife out and cleaned the bottom of my boot while they stared at me. I exhaled through my nose and set the knife back in my beltloops. "Ten years ago I never would have hurt a fly. You didn't see me back then, but I never hurt anyone. Then the fire happened, and now I—" The memories of the fire stopped me. I shook my head. "No. I'm sorry. Forget about it."

The Mock Turtle closed his wet eyes. "How tragic."

"I've moved beyond it," I said, looking at the bandages on my wrists. "I've found ways to deal."

"How?" the Lion asked.

I wished she wasn't so insistent, but I felt the need to keep answering. "My bandages should give it away." I showed them the bandages, and when they didn't understand, I unwound them and showed the scars. Some were fresh, others were old and silver. The Lion caught her breath, and the Mock Turtle gasped, but I rewrapped them like it was no big deal. "There were many a time when I wished for death," I explained to them. "But whenever I tried, I couldn't die. The doctors found and 'saved' me. And whenever I felt like I wanted to live—truly wanted to live—something would happen and I would nearly die. Or I would suffer so much that I wanted to die."

"Like what?" the Mock Turtle prompted.

I wanted to stop talking, but they insisted on hearing the ending. My story was ongoing. I'd continue until Wonderland came to kill me.

"When I was twelve, they realized I wasn't safe enough for the rehabilitation center. I attacked people, saw things. They sent me to an asylum, and I was part of the neurotics' ward. They shaved my head and wrapped me in a straightjacket, and for twenty-three hours I was all by myself. I cried so much those times. Never in front of the doctors. They kept me there—the asylum was known as Rockafeld Mental Institution—for at least four years. In the first few months, my hair grew right back, long and shaggy. Because I was tied down, I wasn't struggling much. I had two doctors then, two men who worked in the ward, and they...they made my life a hell."

I curled up, closed my eyes, and continued. I was talking for me now, not for them.

"The doctors...raped me, every day. Sometimes they did it one after the other, sometimes it was just one of them. But they were both always there. Because I was mad, the others took my screaming as the notions of a madman, and ignored me. If I yelled words, the doctors sedated me and made me lose my voice. At least eight times, I couldn't say anything, couldn't make any noise. I hated the way they looked at me, hated the way they used me. I swore I'd kill them. I never did.

"Eventually, they deemed me safe enough to return to the rehabilitation center. I was paraded through town like a monster, tied up and dragged. If I fell, they dragged me until I rose. Beaten and bloody, I made it to the rehabilitation center."

My eyes opened, and I looked at their stunned faces, smiling. "The rest's pretty self-explanitory. No one believed me, so I lived with my bottled emotions."

"That's...awful," the Lion breathed.

"I've let it rule my life," I told her, looking at the Pool of Tears—_my_ tears. "The past is the past, but it's also my present."

They didn't talk to me for a few minutes, taking in my story. I used the opportunity to spend it with Johan. I imagined how things would have been if the fire hadn't started on the night I returned from Wonderland. I'd grow up, living with my family and then probably being married to a woman from another county, and then I would return to Wonderland, to Johan and my friends. Somehow, someway I would return to them. I dreamed about it so often. It was my salvation when I was laying naked and broken on the table, unable to curl up and protect myself because of the straightjacket. I imagined Johan running into the room and killing the doctors when he found out what they'd been doing to me. Those dreams were just that: dreams. Johan couldn't come out of Wonderland to save me, and no one from Wonderland was coming.

"Judai?"

I lifted my head, and the Mock Turtle was kneeling before me. His beady eyes were filled with concern.

"Mm?" I groaned.

"It's time we move along," he told me.

Despite how little I knew them, I felt a wave of sorrow. "Oh...okay."

"You misunderstand me." The turtle placed his beefy claws on my shoulders and hauled me to my feet. "You are coming with us, Judai. The White Rabbit gave us the order to bring you to him across the Pool of Tears as soon as we could."

I blinked. "Shou did?"

"Yes," the Lion said. "Tortoise will take you. I, for one, cannot breathe underwater. But the Mock Turtle can. And you can follow his bubble path and breathe as well."

"Fascinating," I said, rolling my eyes.

She laughed lightly and nuzzled my cheek with her cool, wet nose. After the events of this evening, her comfort was well appreciated. I reached up and scratched behind her ear, and was rewarded by a loud purr of happiness.

For some reason, that made me thankful.

Even though I was mad, even if I would be insane for the rest of my life, I could still be a benefit to people. I could still make people happy. The people of Wonderland needed me, and I'd be damned if I let the Queen of Hearts knock me into the dust.

I'm coming for you, Johan. Wait just a little bit longer.

I rose to my feet, glaring at the Pool.

"Let's go."

* * *

One would expect my trip to be enjoyable, I assume.

Perhaps you thought the air bubbles would make sure I could breathe underwater, and maybe you even thought the Mock Turtle was bringing me into a safe area that no creatures would be in. Perhaps you even believed things would be okay for me, for once in my life.

My trip was none of these.

The air bubbles worked, to an extent. My lungs were screaming for proper air at least three seconds in, and the trip was long, so incredibly long.

The water beneath Wonderland was as corrupted as the land above.

The Mock Turtle seemed to forget all about me, so I had to struggle to catch up. Which, adding to the breathing problem, wasn't much fun. I clawed after him and yelled when I had the chance, but he never seemed to hear me. It was like one of those dreams when you're running to catch someone and can't—and I'd had plenty of those dreams (all of them with Johan, thank you very much). I hated the feeling, but simply drifted on after the Mock Turtle, struggling only when it suited me.

Things were all right until the fish appeared.

Wait, let me back up first.

Under the surface, things were just a bit calmer. The corruption was still there, but my world wasn't nearly as dark now. Bitter sunlight glanced off the surface of the Pool of Tears, lighting up the underground with shades of green and blue. For a moment, I actually believed Wonderland might be all right, in the end. As the Mock Turtle swam past some fallen pillars—parts of monuments I hadn't ever seen under the water in the rapid currents—I truly believed that I would be able to defeat my growing insanity. Part of me still held doubt, but that was to be expected. Part of me always had doubts about the things I chose to say and do.

I kicked my legs, slowly back and forth, and followed the Mock Turtle as calmly as I dared. The air bubbles weren't the least bit relaxing, but at least I could breathe and see.

_Wonderland will be all right_, I told myself.

My entire existence was suddenly defined by pain.

It felt as if something snagged my arm—like a sharp log or a piece of driftwood. I struggled, flailing for a moment, aware of the pain building up in my wrist. It didn't last long. Whatever it was, it let me go and disappeared when I turned to look.

The water around me was suddenly very crimson.

I looked through the eking redness to my wrist. There were deep puncture wounds, right on the forearm, and some flaps of skin were billowing open in the water. The sight should have made me ill, should have made me feel everything except what I did feel. Looking down at my arm, I felt...happy. Happy to realize I could still feel pain. Happy that something had hurt me. Happy that now, I had a reason to kill and ruin something's life.

The Mock Turtle hadn't stopped swimming, now fifteen meters ahead of me. My lungs screamed for air, and I swam with my bloody arm to catch up.

Whatever got me before decided to come back.

Out the corner of my left eye, I saw a massive black shape shooting toward my face. Serated silver teeth glinted in the yawning black hole that was its mouth. In a quick motion, I flicked Johan's knife into the thing's beady red eyes. It was a fish, I realized—scaly body about the size I was, face puckered and thin, eerie and haunting in the depths of the water. It thrashed, and the knife tore it's eye socket into pieces. Bubbles exploded from its mouth, screaming if it could. I grinned and drove the dagger home in its soft underbelly. The fish died seconds later, and floated to the surface. Thick globs of red blood stained the ruins and the water around me. So much for the beauty of the undersea.

The Mock Turtle drifted toward the surface of the water, toward a bank. I slowly followed.

When we climbed out of the water, I noticed just how badly my arm had been hurt. My Oyster mark was coated in gobs of garnet, the smell of iron was thick and sickening, and every six seconds there were sharp stabs of pain.

Despite this, I sat on the white sand of this corrupted Wonderland and looked at the Pool of Tears.

The Mock Turtle scurried beside me. "Judai," he whispered, looking at my bloody arm. "Did something attack you?" I didn't answer with word—I just nodded. He quickly went to work ripping shreds of my sleeve off and making a tourniquet with them. It certainly didn't look strong, but was as tight as a boa constrictor. Relief and gratitude flooded my veins. I thanked him with a quick nod. "Thank you, Judai," he told me, "for bringing my shell back to me."

"Don't mention it," I said.

"No, really. Thank you, Judai." His expression softened. "We all have faith in you, you know."

My expression must have darkened, or turned sad; he looked suddenly regretful. "Don't," I told him. "Please, just—just _don't_."

The Mock Turtle patted me on the head. "Many of us have faith in you," he continued anyway. "Even after ten years, we have faith in you. We know you've been going through something terrible, Judai, and that is why Wonderland is this way."

I perked up, confused. "What...?"

His expression paled. "I—I have said too much. Thank you, Judai. And good luck."

Quickly, he turned back to the Pool of Tears.

"Wait!" I cried, screambling to my feet. "I—I need to know what you meant by—" But it was too late; the Mock Turtle slipped under the surface of the Pool of Tears, and disappeared. I stood on the edge of the bank, eyes wide, contemplating what the Turtle had said. _We know you've been going through something terrible, Judai, and that is why Wonderland is this way._ "Wonderland's corrupted...because of me?" I lifted my head to the cloudy skies, and whispered, "Is it because I'm...corrupted, too?"

_I'm corrupted?_

Looking back on it, that made so much sense. Wonderland was insane because I was.

_B-but I'm not insane!_

Stop lying to yourself. You're as mad as a hatter. Madder, even.

I whirled on the brushes of Wonderland, glaring in the direction I believed the Queen of Hearts would be awaiting. "I may be insane," I shouted over the roar of the wind, "and I may be the one who began this wicked corruption, but I'm sane enough to know that _you're_ the one ruining Wonderland right now, 'Your Majesty'! I swear, for all those people you've tainted, for all those people you hurt, I'll end you, do you hear me? I'M GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU!"

In the distance, I could have sworn—on the wind—I heard a vicious laugh, followed by the loud command of, "Off with his head!"

* * *

Me: Okay! So the Mock Turtle has brought Judai to the other end of Wonderland.

Lucy: Where will his adventures bring him?

Me: Oh, and for anyone who's interested, these are several songs that suit Judai as he is right now: Funhouse by Pink, Unknown Soldier by Breaking Benjamin (this one is what I was listening to during this chapter as I wrote it!), Indestructible by Disturbed, and Mitternacht by E Nomine. They're all really good songs, but they really suit Judai.

Lucy: More or less, they go in chronological order. _Funhouse_ represents when he was in the asylum, and trapped with his memories, and then when he first saw how much Wonderland had changed. Then _Unknown Soldier_ represents him at the current moment, a bit solemn and moving mechanically.

Me: And finally, _Indestructible_ and _Mitternacht_ deal with his possible future, or the way he might be in future chapters after realizing he has to kill his friends.

Lucy: We will update as soon as we can, so please review!


	8. Stage 4 Point 1: Lava and Cards

**Title**: Wonderland Insanity's Judai

**Genre**: horror, romance

**Rating**: M for intense violence, language, and character death (_possible lemon_)

**Pairings**: JohanXJudai (_hinted others_)

**Summary**: Little Judai's all grown up, and taking Wonderland by the throat. The little Judai we all know and love has vanished. After the brutal murdering of his parents, Judai has gone insane and is eventually sent to an insane asylum, where he is left and forgotten and abused for at least 10 years. One night, the White Rabbit, AKA Shou, comes and tells Judai that Wonderland is in trouble. The Queen of Hearts has taken Johan hostage and now everyone is corrupted and people are dying! It's up to Judai to defeat the Queen of Hearts, save Johan, and all of Wonderland, while at the same time, trying to save the small shred of sanity that he has left.

Me: Chapter seven of "_Wonderland Insanity's Judai_"!

Lucy: We have dabbled a little into Judai's terrible past, and it has explained why Wonderland is this insane place.

Me: But now we have to wonder who else Judai is going to meet, who else he's going to have to slay to get to the Queen of Hearts and save Wonderland. But what of the people he must kill? Will they return when he defeats the Queen? And where's Shou? And JOHAN?

Lucy: And now, we continue.

_**Stage Four Point One: Lava and Cards**_

Ruby was waiting for me at the top of a tiny tree. Leaves stuck to her mangy purple fur, and a portion of her left ear was torn off. She regarded me with careful crimson eyes, and then asked me, "Did you find out anything, love?"

"More than I cared to," I answered.

"We often do now-a-days," was her calm response.

A long time ago, someone told me that madmen didn't feel anything. They told me that a madman's feelings were nothing more than pure delusion, since madmen didn't know how to use their brains enough to feel actual emotions. When they told me this, it's not hard to guess my reaction. I kicked and screamed and hollered and cried and told them that they were wrong. As one can well imagine, it got me sent to the padded room once again for "assaulting a doctor".

What does this have to do with Ruby's response, you ask?

Well, her answer made me _feel_ something.

Ruby's words spurred something dormant inside me. For the first time in ten years, I felt like a child again. I didn't know why—I mean, her words weren't that interesting or inspirational, or even closely linked to the thought of being a child—but when they left her mouth, or maybe it was the tone she used, I remembered my mother. Her beautiful brown hair, her lovely eyes, her sweet voice when she told me not to worry about anything.

The Cheshire Cat's wild eyes widened further. "Have I upset you, love?"

"What?" I croaked, voice thick. "N-no. I, uh—" My vision was blurred, my eyes felt warm and salty. I scrubbed at them quickly and was appalled when I saw water on my skin. "Oh, God, what in the..." I didn't need to finish.

"You're crying, my dear," she told me, "for once out of joy."

"That hasn't happened in so long," I murmured, amazed with myself. "So I can still feel."

"All madmen can _feel_, Judai," the Cheshire Cat assured me. Her tail thumped on the tree branch. "Madmen just feel something different. When one if mad, their feelings are stronger. A madman lacks reason, lacks explaination. A madman is capable of feeling and acting on those feelings and instincts, without the rational thought-processes of a sane mind holding them back. Morals and do-right have nothing to do with those who are mad. In fact, some of the best warriors would be madmen. Then they would act as they pleased and attack without stop." Her eyes fell on me, shiny and bright. "You are the best man for this job of slaying the Queen of Hearts, Judai, because you lack reason."

My nose scrunched angrily. "I am _not_ mad."

"You are," she told me softly. "We are all mad in Wonderland."

A loud buzzing drowned out my response, whatever it was. Even I wasn't sure. The buzzing came from overhead, and I turned. Large bugs flittered through the skies, above the messes of tiny trees and marshes. Dying sunlight glinted off their shelled backs and iridescent wings. Their soulless black eyes seemed to be watching me. I stared back at them until they flew out of sight, taking note of the pink heart-markings on their stomachs.

"The Queen's messengers?" I guessed.

"Indeed." Ruby melted into purple smoke and fell to my side. "The Queen consorts with all kinds of creatures these days, though the insects are more her type of company, if you ask me."

I chuckled, low in the back of my throat. "I'm guessing they're going to tell her where I am."

"She knows already."

"Good. Maybe she'll send me someone challenging."

The Cheshire Cat's eyes were blazing. "Be very careful what you wish for, Judai. In a short while, I'll be capable of helping you, but not right now."

"Hm?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Her expression was guarded. "Though I cannot say you'll enjoy it."

I made a small noise in the back of my throat, a sound I would later associate with a scoff. "That makes me feel so much better."

Ruby Carbuncle chuckled. We continued down the twisting lands of Wonderland, soft and gentle. We didn't speak, but we didn't have to. During our walk, I looked at the skies. Was Heaven above there? In this world so full of death and destruction, was God still here with us? I don't think He had given up on us, on Wonderland—I sort of hoped that there was something more than this destruction after we all passed away.

My thoughts drifted to Rei. If there was Heaven above us, was that where Rei had gone? I had a hard time believing that God would blame people who were corrupted against their will, who strayed from his path against their will.

Yet my throat kept tightening when I thought back to the Duchess.

When I was little, she was one of the first Wonderlandians I had met. I'd rescued her from being beheaded by the Queen of Hearts. She'd put me in charge of watching her baby—which apparently wasn't her baby and had transformed into a pig and run off. Rei was my friend, even if we'd only known each other for a short time. The memories of her glaring at me hatefully, thinking about eating me, was just too much to bear. My memories were as clear as a nightmare. I didn't want to think back to it, to the terrible things I'd done. But I couldn't forget the way I'd ended Rei's life. I couldn't forget the last look on her face before her head exploded.

Something dawned on me all of a sudden. Did Ruby know that I'd killed someone? Did she know that this was my fate, my reason, my purpose for existing?

I stopped. Ruby sensed this and stopped at my side, looking up at me. Her eyes blinked at me. Now that I thought about it, my cat Kuriboh would have loved Ruby immediately. They would be perfect for one another, had they ever gotten the chance to meet.

"What is it, Judai?" Ruby asked.

At first, I didn't know what to say. Then I whispered, "I killed Rei."

Her red eyes seemed to dull. "What, love?"

My voice trembling with terror and tears, I said a little louder, "I...killed...the Duchess..."

Ruby's expression softened, and her Cheshire grin was sympathetic. "I knew this would happen sooner or later. Judai, please sit." She nodded her head to a worm-infested log. I sat down, and she curled up at my side, rubbing her head comfortingly against my shoulder. "Ryo told you the prophecy a long time ago, didn't he?" Even though I nodded, she repeated it. "_In darkness shall he perish, In light shall he fall. To save the one he loves, Friend and foe, He will chose between them all. As Wonderland collapses and dies, Still he will continue to try. The blood of the Queen and that of the Jabberwock, Will be the key that cracks open the lock_." Her eyes flickered to me. The crimson color of her irises were amazingly bright, amazingly comforting. In a gentle voice, she said, "Wonderland is destined to collapse and die, Judai. Unless you defeat the Queen."

"And the Jabberwock...?" I murmured.

"The Queen's guardian and champion," Ruby agreed. "You must defeat him as well."

I remembered that stupid creature. I remembered what he did to my arm. I also remembered that Johan had stabbed one of its eyes out with the knife I now wielded. For some reason, I smiled darkly. I did want to kill the Jabberwock.

Then, for another reason, a strange word came to my mind.

"Ruby," I ventured.

"Yes, child?"

"What is the"—I thought back to the strange name that came to mind—"Vorpal Blade?"

Her expression softened considerably. "You ought to know, Judai." Her eyes flickered to the obsidian-handled blade with the runes I held in my hand. "That blade Johan left for you, that thing, is known as the Vorpal Blade."

I glanced at johan's knife, stunned and horrified. "_This_ is the Vorpal Blade?"

"The Vorpal Blade, the Vorpal Sword, the Unending Horror, the Blade That Slays the Unholy Beast, the Jabberwock's Demise. Call it what you will. It is the blade you need."

"But it's so small."

"But it will do its job, Judai. Remember, your weapons know what they want. All you must do is hold onto them."

That seemed simple enough, but it wasn't going to be easy. Even if my weapons knew what they wanted, I had to hang ono them while they do it. And even if I was mad—and I _wasn't_, but that's another story entirely—I knew that weapons couldn't be counted as murderers.

"So I was destined to kill Rei?" I asked, finally.

"Among many others," she told me.

* * *

When we finally stopped walking, the landscape changed entirely. The sky was red as blood, and the ground was hard and cracked and blackened with soot. Lava rivers weaved in and out of the charred trees like malicious snakes. The smell of burn and death hurt my nostrils, and my eyes watered. Ruby's nose wrinkled when she stepped at my side, the hairs on the back of her bony neck tingling.

"Where are we?" I demanded.

"The Pool of Tear's final resting place," she explained to me, though it didn't really help. "We're at the base of the Centipede's Lair."

I didn't know that one. "Centipede?"

"You knew him as Ryo the Caterpillar. Wonderland knows him now as the Centipede."

"So Ryo has been corrupted," I whispered.

"Mm."

I tried not to be upset by it—after all, I'd come to expect these sort of things. But Ryo was one of my friends. One of my happy memories. I didn't want to kill him anymore than I wanted to kill Rei.

"Must I kill him, too?" I asked.

Ruby's expression softened when she said, "Absolutely."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and forced my happy memories of Ryo into the back of my mind. "I know." Ryo was my friend, the elder brother of Shou (who I had no idea where he was anymore), and he'd been a helpful asset to me during my last visit. "I'll fight."

"I will help you when you get past him, Judai," Ruby assured me. "Until then, farewell."

And then she disappeared in a puff of foul-smelling smoke.

* * *

I continued through the boiling wastelands of Wonderland on my own. I tried not to think about my friends when I cut down the Cards and Banshees waiting for me. I tried not to think of them as actual beings when I sliced through them with the Vorpal Blade. Worst of all, I tried not to think about the one thing that kept coming back to me. The very thing that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight.

When finally I did get past the Cards, I found myself at the foot of a massive mountain.

The mountain was more ominous and more frightening than anything else I'd ever seen before. Scorpions and bugs of all shapes and sizes and colors skittered over the jagged rocks, glinting with poison.

"This is my obstacle," I murmured to myself.

My knees struck the ground hard as I collapsed forward. The gravely ground tore my hands open, the Vorpal Blade skidding just out of reach. I'd never be able to climb this mountain on my own. It was too steep, much too high. And on the other side of it was the rest of the world of corruption. And the Queen. Fear was a live creature inside me. It chewed on my heart. My eyes glittered with tears.

I didn't want to do this anymore.

I didn't want to keep fighting.

I didn't want to...

"Judai!" barked a familiar, pleasant voice. "Didn't I tell you not to dawdle?"

Shou was right above me on a jagged edge of the mountain. His furry white paw, covered in blood and slime and muck, extended toward me. His cracked glasses made his gray eyes as shiny as stormclouds. The skin on his face, pale and scarred, made me think of the moon. His waistcoat looked dull and faded in the pale light of the lava and the crimson sky.

"Shou?" I murmured.

"You didn't think you'd have to do this on your own, did you?" he chuckled.

I took his hand and he helped me climb onto the mountain. Once on it, it didn't seem as impossible as it looked. I reached down and plucked the Vorpal Blade from the ground, my precious Johan's knife, and clutched it close.

"Let's find the Queen as soon as we can," I said to Shou.

"Mm."

Then, as he turned away to start climbing with me, I asked the question I wasn't so certain I wanted the answer to. "Shou"—he paused when I said his name and waited—"do I have to...kill Johan, as well?"

Shou didn't say anything.

His silence sent shivers through my soul. The blade trembled in my grip.

"Judai," Shou whispered. "That will all depend on you. But if you want my opinion..." He turned to me with his gray eyes shining full of pity. "You need to be ready to cut down any obstacle that comes between you and rescuing Wonderland. And when I say any obstacle, I mean any obstacle." Then he turned on his heel, and without another look to see if I was following, continued up the mountain.

* * *

Me: Oh my God, no!

Lucy: Shou pretty much just told Judai that he might have to kill Johan if he wants to save Wonderland!

Me: B-but he can't! He can't just kill Johan! Judai's supposed to save Johan from the Queen of Hearts! He can't kill him, too! He just can't! Lucy, tell me this is a joke, right? Wait, I'm the writer, so I already know what's going to happen. *makes a sad face and looks away from the readers*

Lucy: We will update as soon as we can, so please review!


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